The end of the affair or How a friendship begins
by Morgana-Alex
Summary: How Minerva and Albus settle into their great friendship. Chapter 9 part 2 up at last. 27-04-2009 Please read and Review
1. Default Chapter

**Disclaimer:** Albus and Minerva belong to the divine JKR I am just borrowing them for a while.

**A/N:** Big thanks to everyone who read and reviewed Risking my sisters Wrath. This is my new chapter fic I hope you like this too**. MA**

As Chekhov said 'a woman may be an acquaintance first, then a mistress and only then may she be a friend.'

Ok this fic is set just before the end of Minerva's first year at Hogwarts, I have written it so that she joins the school she joins as Transfiguration professor, Deputy Head and Head of Griffindor, I know that's not strictly cannon but as I think freelancer once said my fic my rules.

****

The end of the affair or How Albus and Minerva became friends

By Morgana-Alex

****

Chapter 1

The house stood still as silence fell through its long and winding passages but the house was not yet at rest for the night.

Minerva awoke to the sound of the wind howling through the trees closest to her bedroom window, her Animagus senses ensuring that sleep would not come easily to her tonight.

The transfiguration professor climbed gracefully from her bed, wrapped her green silk robe around her slender form and started her journey to the kitchen in search of something to help her sleep.

The halls of her family home filled by shadows from the faint light escaping windows that reflected the moon reminded the Witch walking through them that some things never changed.

She shook her head at that thought it would not do to dwell on what could never be.

It had been an unusually harsh winter in her hometown of Tarbert and her wind battered home had required her attention before it became a danger to itself and others. Tiles had been removed from the roof, windows smashed by objects carelessly caught up in the blustery weather and the garden was a shadow of its former glory.

The wards that had been placed on McGonagall Manor had begun to destabilise during years of neglect, the years between the deaths of Minerva's parents, the years she refused to visit the empty shell and now when her superior had forced her to return for the sake of her sanity and his own.

As she reached the kitchen Minerva pushed the door open with her right hand and set about making herself a warm toddy.

Minerva took a sip of her drink as she watched the tree outside the kitchen window sway back and forth in an almost hypnotic rhythm. She was trying to recall the species the tree belonged to when her eyes were drawn to the shape of a bird sitting on the branch closest to the ground.

Standing Minerva walked to the window to get a closer look at the lone creature that was braving the storm on the branch of a tree that would provide it little if indeed any shelter at all. As she reached the glass pane separating her from the elements the bird spread it wings and crossed the short distance to land on the window ledge in front of Minerva.

The bird an Owl as she could now see was looking at her expectantly as if waiting for her to do something, she realised it was waiting for her to open the window.

"Albus." She exclaimed as she opened the catch that held the window in place and beckoned her friend inside.

"Albus what in the name of Merlin are you doing out in this weather and better yet what are you doing outside my house in the middle of the night?" A look of anger graced her features as Albus Dumbledore transformed back into his human form.

"May I sit down Minerva the weather tonight is not kind to the body of an old wizard." He countered purposely ignoring her questions.

"Of course you may Albus but I would still like an answer to my question." Absentmindedly she waved her wand and a striped mug full of very sweet hot chocolate appeared in front of her visitor as she waited for him to answer.

"Is it really such a terrible thing to see me here Minerva, so terrible that I need a reason to be here?" His eyes locked with hers as he turned the question back to her.

"Albus you know full well that is not what I meant. I meant why are you risking your health and perhaps your life to sit outside my house on such a night as this?" He could not face her now, he did not want to tell her the truth, she would not thank him for that.

He stood in order to gain a little time to think of something that would satisfy her curiosity and ensure she didn't hex him into the next centaury.

But as he watched her eyes close and her face fall he realised that he couldn't lie to her no matter how much it pained him to tell her the truth she did not deserve to be told anymore lies.

"Minerva I came here because I could not sleep. As I left my chambers to seek you out I remembered that you were not in residence. I just wanted to talk to you Minerva and so I flew here to see if my friend was still awake." Many thoughts were running through Minerva's head at his words, thoughts of anger, pain, love and rejection were the strongest all fighting for her to say the words that would convey their feelings to the man sitting in front of her. None of them won that battle.

"Albus you have friends who are closer to Hogwarts then me at this time." She was baiting him and he knew it. He knew you didn't plunge a knife into the heart of Minerva McGonagall, ask to remain her friend and get off scot-free.

He knew that though her face and outward persona would never betray her by showing her pain it didn't mean that her heart was not in tears.

"True Minerva very true. But none quite like you." He watched her closely for a sign that he had caught her off guard. No such luck even in the dead of night she was not a woman to toy with.

"Why are they not like me Albus?" He had to admit to himself that she had him there. No answer to that question was right, nothing he could say that would not end in him wishing she would let him apologize again for what he had done to her.

"Minerva you know the answer to that question." She smiled at that.

"Yes Albus I do and as I have no desire to spend the rest of my days in Azkaban I think I'll change the subject." Her eyes were once again locked with his.

"Why don't we move to the drawing room Albus, the atmosphere in there is a little more inviting than a kitchen on a stormy night." With that Albus Dumbledore got to his feet and followed his former lover from the room.

**End Chapter**

**A/N:** Ok please please tell me what you thought of this fic as it is new territory to me to write in the third person. The second chapter I should be loaded straight after this one so happy reading and once again please please review. (P.S I know begging's not pretty but hey a girls got to try something!) **Morgana-Alex**


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer:** See Chapter 1

**A/N:** I hope you liked the first chapter and that you will enjoy this one. If you have the time please read and review. **MA**

**The end of the affair or How Albus and Minerva became friends**

**By Morgana-Alex**

****

Chapter 2

As they reached the drawing room Albus had a chance to study the woman in front of him a little, her hair was down, her face calm and in stark contrast to the last time he had seen her. He noticed that she was dressed for bed and by the creases he could see in her nightgown she had been to bed and either tried to sleep and failed or something had woken her up. Knowing Minerva the former seemed more likely.

Minerva took a place on the sofa closest to the fire while waving her wand to increase the burning embers into flames that would warm the room. She curled her feet beneath her in a very cat like manner and turned to face him.

"Albus you can sit down you know, I will not pounce on you and I'd like to remind you that you are the one who turned up at my door." Albus was hesitant for just a moment longer, he knew that he was the one who turned up uninvited and true he wasn't entirely sure why he was here. But he missed talking to her, he missed passing hours in her company and to be brutally honest with himself he missed holding her close.

"Thank-you Minerva." His words resonated around the room; he had thanked her for more than simply giving him leave to sit.

Silence descended as he took up residence on the other end of the sofa Minerva was sitting on and turned to face her.

"Is that a new robe Minerva?" He asked feeling a little uncomfortable with the silence. But Minerva smiled.

"I will be forever grateful that something's will never change and you are one of those things Albus." His face a picture of confusion, he didn't understand and that made her laugh.

"I'm sorry Albus I am not laughing at you, it's just that this robe is as old as I am and you have seen it many times. I guess it shows how much attention you paid to my clothes." Albus relaxed a little she wasn't angry with him now, yet he knew he had hurt her again with a simple question.

" Albus if you continue to worry that every word you say will upset me our friendship is not going to get very far now is it." She was right of course, she was always right.

"True Minerva, very true. So how goes playing nurse to McGonagall Manor?" Finally a question.

"It's going slowly, very slowly. I fear that I will not accomplish all I need to before the end of the Christmas break. I've patched up the wards. But they need to be taken down completely and re-cast. I had muggle builders repair the roof and luckily they have done a good job.

The bedrooms are in such a state of disarray and the bathrooms are…well they have seen better days… But I promised myself I would get this house in good order before I have to return to Hogwarts even if it is the last thing I do."

"Of that I have no doubt Minerva, once you set your mind to a task you always complete it. However I hope that it is not the last thing you do, I need my deputy alive and available to teach at the start of term." They had lapsed once again into silence and this time it didn't bother him, Minerva had moved to sit on the floor facing the fire her hands held out in front of her to warm them.

How many times had he watched her do that and longed to hold those hands?

How many times had he longed for those hands to run themselves over his body?

How many times had he and those hands done just that?

How many times had he cursed himself for giving into those desires?

How many times had he cursed himself for not having the courage to love her, as she deserved?

And how many times had he berated himself for being noble and letting her go?

A few short weeks ago on a night not unlike the present, he had agreed to meet her at the Three Broomsticks for a drink. She had been excited to see the man she loved and he had been planning to tell her things could not go on as they were.

That was when he had told her 'it's not you it's me', he had told her that he cared for her but that he was not in love with her so he could not continue to take advantage of her as he had been doing for months.

That was when he had seen the always in control Minerva McGonagall cry in public.

That was the day he had pulled the rug out from under their six month affair.

That had brought them here today to a fragile friendship, he knew she wanted more but that she would settle for his friendship and she knew he would be nothing but himself and that by being his friend now little would change.

"A knut for your thoughts Albus?" Minerva was now knelling beside Albus looking up at his face as he had been staring into space for the last five minutes.

"Friendship Minerva that is what I am thinking about and that is what I asked you for but I find I do not know how to be a friend to you. I have hurt you more than I ever wanted to…" Minerva's expression was no longer calm as she cut him off.

"Albus I am not going to absolve you of your guilt only you can do that. I would forgive you anything and you know that, I have already pledged my friendship to you, so nothing will be served by you wallowing in self-pity and if you continue to do so I am going to have to re-think my offer.

"Albus what's done is done and I do not regret a single moment. But you are the one who decided it was over; if I have to live with that decision so do you." Her voice was now the tone she used to speak to her students warning them that she would brook no argument.

"I am sorry Minerva I did not mean to re-open the wound." He took her hand in his and smiled.

"Alright, now that's settled would you like some more hot chocolate?"

"Yes please." He could easily have refilled the cup himself without moving a muscle. But it made her smile when she could do something for him and besides he liked the way her hot chocolate tasted.

"Thank-you Minerva." As he brought the cup to his lips the clock sitting on the mantel above the fire chimed 3 o'clock in the morning and Minerva stifled a yawn.

"Are you tired my dear?" The chiming of the clock had made him realise that they had been chatting for a while.

"A little it has been a long day." She finished stiffing another yawn.

"Well then I will take my leave and you can get to bed." Disappointment flashed in her eyes for a second but he did not see it and as she replied to his comment her voice held no trace of emotion.

"Albus it is 3 o'clock in the morning, the wind and rain are still raging outside, I have no intention of letting you travel back to Hogwarts tonight." Albus was not as clever at masking his thoughts.

"Minerva I am a grown wizard I think I can be let out at night on my own." He said in his best I'm not a child tone.

"If you are a grown wizard Albus act like one, you are quite safe in this house there are many bedrooms for you to choose from and I even promise not to throw myself at you." He walked closer to her.

"Minerva I distinctly remember you telling me that the bedrooms are in and I quote a state of disarray." The look in Albus's eye was not a stranger to Minerva the lover. But it should be to Minerva the friend.

"Then my dear Albus you have a choice between the sofa and the right side of my bed." She delighted in the battle that she knew would be raging in his head. She had given him a choice, a choice between the right thing to do and what he wanted to do. Smiling Minerva turned on her heel and threw over her shoulder as she ascended the stairs.

"My room is first on the left at the top of the stairs if you make that choice. Goodnight Albus."

He stood there torn; he knew she would not berate him for his choice. He knew that no matter what she would still be there for him in the morning.

But she had left him to decide whether he would sleep on the sofa undeniably warm and comfortable, or beside a woman who was undeniably warm and welcoming, or…

**End Chapter**

**A/N:** What will Albus decide? If you want to know his choice and more of why he let her go please review and let me know. **Morgana-Alex**


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer:** See chapter 1.

**A/N:** Many thanks to all those who reviewed your reviews are what keep me writing. I will only say never assume. I cannot promise you that this fic will end as you want it to or indeed that it won't. But I will say that Albus is in the end a human male and Minerva is a woman who is not always a slave to her heart.

I hope that you enjoy this chapter and I will be posting the next over the weekend. **MA**

**The End of the affair or How Albus andMinerva Became Friends**

**By Morgana-Alex**

**Chapter 3**

Or… Just two weeks ago there would have been a third option. It being sleeping completely sated with said warm and welcoming woman in his arms.

But that option was gone forever, he respected Minerva too much to try that even now when he doubted she would refuse his advances.

He had asked for her friendship and even though he did not deserve it Minerva had given it freely and without reserve.

So he would meet her half way to earn back her trust and respect, he would sleep beside her, as a friend would share a bed out of necessity.

He climbed the stairs slowly and with care making sure he made as little noise as possible.

When he reached the door Minerva had told him was her bedroom he stopped, should he knock or not? If she were already asleep he'd wake her up by knocking. But this was Minerva, sleep did not come easily to her and they had only been separated for 5 minutes. There was also the fact that he had been invited, or would she expect him to make the choice and sleep in the drawing room?

"This is Minerva not someone you've just met." He exclaimed to the empty air around him.

He stood tall, rapped his knuckles on the oak paneled door once and opened it.

He found Minerva - when he really thought about it - as expected sitting in bed her glasses perched on her nose reading the latest copy of Transfiguration today.

Albus smiled as Minerva looked over the top of her glasses at him; 'damn she looks sexy when she does that' He thought and then berated himself for thinking such a thought.

"I hope you don't mind but I thought the better choice would be to sleep here." Minerva smiled a brilliant smile one she reserved only for him.

"Albus I gave you that choice I can hardly hex you for making it. Now I know we are both tired so why don't you come to bed?" Did she know what she was doing? Was she purposely trying to break his resolve? Or was she just being a friend?

"May I use the bathroom first?" That question earned him a chuckle.

"Of course, the door to your left." Albus looked to his left and found a door in that wall of Minerva's bedroom, he walked through it.

Five minutes later Albus emerged from the bathroom in what Minerva would describe as the most garish and gaudy pajamas she had ever laid eyes upon. But being the intelligent woman she was Minerva knew that now would not be the time to mention that to her companion. Instead she lifted the blankets to allow Albus to get into bed beside her.

Which he did with a slight hesitation and as he pulled the blankets to cover himself he turned to face the witch beside him.

"Goodnight Minerva." Albus said as he leaned in to kiss her cheek.

"Goodnight Albus." Minerva said as she moved her head to kiss his cheek.

Their lips did not meet their intended targets - or maybe subconsciously they did - without realizing what they were doing and without time to pull back their lips met each other.

Minerva allowed herself to melt into the unexpected kiss and Albus brought his hand to cradle the back of her head.

Albus came to his senses first and pulled away moving as far away from Minerva as the bed would allow, his guilt already evident in his expression.

"Minerva my apologies I should not have done that."

Minerva for her own part had never felt so foolish what had she done?

"Albus I should be offering you my apologies I should not have kissed you." Her eyes looked at the imaginary thread her hands were fiddling with. His were watching the colour rise in her cheeks.

"Minerva please look at me." Slowly his deputy, his former lover and most importantly now his friend lifted her head to stare in to his eyes.

"Minerva know that I cannot be what you want me to be, I cannot love you as you deserve to be loved, I cannot pledge you anything but my friendship and I'm not even sure that is worth much. So tell me knowing that what is it that you want from me tonight?" His eyes showed her his desire and the lust he felt.

"Albus I know you cannot give me all I desire and wish for. But right now I desire your body and only that. I want to feel you inside, above and below me. I want to feel your lips on my skin and my lips on yours. But if you find that idea unappealing I will understand." How could she think he found the idea unappealing, how could she think he found her unappealing. She could always arouse him with just a kiss.

He raised his hand to cup and caress her cheek, searching her countenance for some sign that she knew what she was asking him for.

"Minerva you know very well that I find the idea far from unappealing and I am ashamed that all I can offer you is my body. But I do not want to hurt you further, I do not want to risk losing your friendship or for you to hate me in the morning." It was taking every ounce of self-control Albus possessed to stop himself from pinning Minerva to her bed.

"Albus our friendship will be as strong in the morning as it is right now and have no fear I could never hate you." In the morning neither would remember who moved first. But…

**End Chapter**

**A/N:** I hoped you liked this chapter now please hit the little button and review. Many thanks for reading. The next chapter will deal with the morning after!**MA**


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer:** Please see chapter 1

**A/N:** Many thanks to everyone who reviewed chapter 3** Intelligent Witch, Quill of Minerva, McgonagallsGirl, ADandMMeva, Silver Sorceress, Woolybooger, allthesame, Angeldust-aka-Evilwoman. **I hope this answers a question or two if not the next chapter should. I'd like to make a point about the first paragraph please remember that this is and what is written here is better than the watered down version of what I had wanted to write. Happy reading **MA**

**The end of the affair or How Minerva and Albus became friends**

**By Morgana-Alex**

**Chapter 4**

But… As their lips met for a second time that night, they both knew there would be no turning back. However wrong it may be as they brought each other to the heights of passion it felt so right.

* * *

As the rising sun flooded the room bathing it's two occupants in light as only a winter sun can. Albus stirred and opened his eyes. It took him a moment to remember were he was and what he was doing there. 

He turned to face the sleeping witch beside him; she looked so peaceful in sleep, so young and carefree with a smile tugging at her lips.

He had put that smile there and he was proud of himself for that. But he also felt a deep guilt; he should have been stronger, he should on no account have acted on his desire, he should have left last night. 'Hell I should not have come here' he exclaimed to the air.

Minerva turned to face Albus and reached out her hand, her eyes still closed, they only opened when said hand connected with Albus's arm.

"Good morning Albus." Minerva's voice was still husky from sleep.

"Good morning Minerva." Albus replied grateful the first words out of her mouth were not 'I hate you'.

"Albus I think I told you at least once last night that I could never hate you."

"And I thought I was the legilimens here." He tried to laugh but made no sound.

"Lets just say that I am an observant woman who has had the time to study you a little and to remember what I've learnt." Minerva summoned her dressing gown from its place on the floor where it had been thrown without ceremony a few hours before. Standing Minerva added.

"I also know that nothing has changed between us Albus, I know that last night does not change the fact that we are only friends." Her last word said as she closed the bathroom door behind her.

Albus was deflated by her cool demeanour; he had expected…well he had expected anything but this. He did not understand how a woman who professed to love him could give him her body and only her body without wants or regret. Yet that is exactly what she had done, she had given him a night of pleasure and asked only that he give the same in return.

This morning he had expected her to hate him or should that be his ego expected her to hate him?

In her eyes nothing had changed, however in his everything had, this was a side to Minerva McGonagall that was very different from her public persona, this woman knew what she wanted and wasn't about to apologise or feel guilty for getting it.

Had he caused her pain again by not sleeping on the sofa? Or had she played him with the skill and detachment of an expert? Or was he being very conceited in thinking that last night had been about anything but sex?

"Albus... Albus." Minerva called trying to rouse him from his musings.

"I am sorry Minerva I was day dreaming." That earned him a smile.

"Well I hope they were good dreams! But I just wanted to tell you that the bathroom is now free for your use, I will be downstairs making breakfast." Her first words were not a question nor did she expect an answer as she swept from her bedroom and down the stairs.

Leaving an already bewildered Albus to puzzle over his confusion.

* * *

As Albus followed his nose and the smell of bacon to the kitchen he pondered his reaction to the nights events. Yes they had shared a night of passion, yes both had been willing participants, yes both knew that they were only friends and yet friends do not share what they had shared, friends do not cross the line they had crossed, friends do not give into the desires they had given into. 

But one thought stood out from the others, why when Minerva appeared to be content with what they had done and that it changed nothing between them did he feel like he had been hit by the knight bus? Why this morning did he have a conscience?

Once again Albus returned to the night he had told her with more words than we perhaps necessary that he did not love her. His guilt now stinging his very heart, he had coldly hurt a woman who would never knowingly hurt a doxy.

Minerva had told him that she could never hate him. But now he realised that there were emotions far worse than hate, she had made him reflect on what he had done from her point of view and she had made him regret actions he could not and would not change. He decided that introspection was worse than hate, as he could not hide from himself.

* * *

Meanwhile in the kitchen Minerva had set about making what muggles called a full English breakfast, with bacon, eggs, tomatoes, mushrooms, sausages, and toast. She had left out the baked beans, as there was no Wizarding equivalent. 

Minerva cooked the food the muggle way with pots and pans on the aga she insisted on keeping, even though she could prepare a meal with a swish of her wand she preferred to watch things cooking.

The apron around her waist was covered in kittens of different breads and all the colours of the rainbow; it had been a gift from her sister who had bought it for her on a trip to muggle London many moons ago.

In her right hand a spatula to turn the fried eggs and tomatoes and in her left a fork to turn the bacon and sausages; the bread in the toaster on the work surface to her right.

When Albus reached the kitchen he stood in the doorway taking time to survey the mood of the witch with the hot frying pan within easy reach.

Her back straight and head bent observing breakfast as it cooked, a few stands of hair lose from her usual bun, her robes Griffindor red and he noticed the tie of her apron in a bow in the middle of her waist.

Her presence seemed at odds with her surroundings, a picture of beauty in a sea of gloom, a gloom he had thought a product of the storm when he had first lain witness to it the night before, now he knew it to be the natural aura of the room.

"That smells wonderful Minerva." He said talking his fist step towards her.

His voice startled her and had she been a lesser witch she would have jumped in surprise and burned herself. Instead she simply turned to face him.

"Thank-you Albus. Now make yourself useful and see to the toast. The butter is in the cupboard behind you if you would be so kind."

* * *

When they finally sat down to eat, their plates were piled high with enough fried food to harden the arteries of a mere mortal. However magic had its rewards it being able to charm the oil and grease away. 

They ate in silence Minerva not wanting to break the spell of the new calm they had achieved and Albus not wanting to share his thoughts just yet, they needed to be in a coherent order before he did that.

When they had finished eating Minerva moved to clear the dishes. But where she like to cook the muggle way she had no intention of cleaning the muggle way. So with a wave of her wand the kitchen was restored to the state it had been in before she had entered it this morning.

"Albus are you alright?" Minerva asked out of concern for her friend.

"Minerva we need to talk." Albus replied and Minerva steeled herself against whatever it was he had to say.

"About what Albus?"

"About last night." Now Minerva was confused what in relation to last night did they have to talk about?

"Albus there is nothing to talk about last night was what it was and it changes nothing." Shouldn't this be the other way around? Shouldn't I be the one asking these questions? Minerva thought.

"And what was last night to you Minerva?" Now he was pushing his luck. Was he intentionally trying to make her angry?

"What a question Albus. But I will give you an answer. Last night was two consenting adults giving their bodies for and of the pleasure of each other; nothing more." Minerva regretted the harsh tone she had used to utter the response as she saw Albus's eyes fill with pain. But she had no intention of retracting her words; he had with more eloquence that she said exactly the same when he had told her we're through.

"Is that all it was to you Minerva?" Ok now he had worn out her patience.

"Albus did I miss something? I seem to recall that a little over 3 weeks ago you told me that you could not continue to be my lover. You left me, you made a choice that left me in the cold and alone. Do you have any idea how many tears I shed because of that night? Too many.

"You asked to be my friend and I willing gave you my friendship. Then last night you appear at my door because you missed me and wanted a friend to talk to. When it was time to retire for the night I gave you a choice to sleep on the sofa or in my bed. You chose the latter; my intention was to let you sleep beside me, nothing more. But fate or our sub-consciousness' conspired against that idea and we had sex. Albus I will not deny that I had a good time, it was wonderful to be in your arms again. But that is all it was we are friends remember so a good time is all it can be." Minerva's hand rose to her chest in a effort to calm her laboured breathing. As Albus had a sinking feeling had he made a terrible mistake in letting her go? It was obvious to him now that she had closed her heart to him.

"I did not mean to anger you Minerva. It seems that I am the one who cannot handle the state of affairs I instigated. It seems as if I am the one who cannot handle being your friend. I suppose I wanted to have my cake and eat it too. I am so sorry Minerva for the pain I have caused you" Minerva now kneeled in front of the man who had capture her heart and then tossed it aside.

"Albus I am going to ask you two questions and I ask you to bear in mind that I know the answers already I just want you to hear them yourself, alright. First are you in love with me" She paused giving him time to think.

"Ok Albus the answer your looking for there would be no. Second did you mean what you said that Tuesday night in the Three Broomsticks, did you mean it when you said you could no longer be my lover" Again he seemed to struggle for his answer.

"Albus the answer your looking for there is yes. So do not apologise for telling the truth, yes the truth hurt me more than I care to admit but I will never think less of you for being true to yourself." As she stood to walk away he grabbed her hand and pulled her on to his lap crushing his lips to hers.

"Albus" Minerva cried as she pulled away and stood a few steps out of his reach. For his part Albus had his head in his hands.

"I think Albus that it is you who needs to decide what it is that you want from me. You cannot continue to expect me to be around only when you want me to be; when it comes to love Albus I believe you have all of me or nothing at all. You need to decide what you want and hope that when you have made a decision that I will be willing to accept it. I will be in the attic when you have thought that over." A very confused and angry witch stormed up to the very top of the house, tears dripping from her eyes as she went.

**End Chapter**

**A/N:** I hope that you enjoyed reading this chapter now please review. The next chapter will deal with why Albus ended their affair and what happened the night he did. Many thanks for reading**. Morgana-Alex**


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer:** Please see chapter 1

**A/N:** Many thanks to everyone who reviewed chapter 4** ADandMMforever, Quill of Minerva, althesame, Angeldust-aka-Evilwoman, McgonagallsGirl, TartanLioness.** A very big thank-you to my fair maiden **Bella** I love you to the moon and back my dear without you this chapter would not exist.

I hope this chapter clears a few things up, it explains in more detail the night of the break up and the thoughts of both parties. It was very difficult to write and I am sorry it took me so long to post it on all I can say is that life got in the way again! But if you don't understand anything just email me and I'll try and explain it better. You will I hope be please to know that chapter 6 is written and is going through re-writes and should be posted by the end of this month. **MA**

**The end of the affair or How Minerva and Albus became friends**

**By Morgana-Alex**

**Chapter 5**

As Minerva climbed the creaking steps to the attic of McGonagall Manor her eyes clouded with tears. She pushed at the foreboding dark panelled door that stood between her and the top floor of the house.

But all she managed to dislodge was the dust that accumulated on it over the many years it had been neglected, so she drew her wand.

"Alohomora." The door now opened with ease and Minerva walked through it.

The attic covered the whole of the house, its floor made up of wooden blocks laid in decreasing squares that must have been the fashion when the house was built. It's wall papered in a floral design of once vibrant bluebells, snowdrops and roses now sun-bleached shades of grey that would have offended Minerva's senses had she been in a fit state to notice them.

The room littered with shapes big, medium and small covered in white sheets to protect them from the dust, this of course was a muggle custom; in the Wizarding world one simply cast a charm. Another thing to escape the witch's observation.

Her footsteps echoed in the almost empty space as her feet connected with the floor, Minerva did not heed her surroundings or chose not to pay them no mind so as she unceremoniously sat on the floor where she stood layers of dust swirled around her.

As the powder of ages settled back to the ground Minerva removed her hands from her now tear stained face. Her heart screaming at her to end the pain, her head knowing that her control over that pain was slight at best.

Besides she needed the pain to help her think clearly, to stop her from simply giving in and allowing Albus to take what he wanted from her and leave her as he had found her alone.

Her thoughts were confused; in the not too distant past he had told her that he no longer wanted her. How dare he now spend the night with her and in the morning disturb the calm she had fought to convey.

But she knew that blaming him would serve no purpose, more to the point last night she had not sent him away and she had been the one to invite him in to her bed.

"What a mess." She whispered to whatever may have been listening as she let her mind return to that fateful night, the night her heart had broken in two.

**

* * *

**

**FLASHBACK**

I had woken up in such a wonderful mood as I had a date planned with my love for that evening.

I spent extra time and care bathing and dressing that morning, as I would have little time to change between the end of the school day and meeting Albus and I wanted to look my best for him.

I almost skipped to breakfast; being in love suited me I had decided, even if it was to a man who could use a few lessons in how to treat a woman. I'd forgive him anything and everything; my students would say I've got it bad.

We had planned to meet in the Three Broomsticks at 5.30pm just before dinner, our presence or lack there of in the great hall would be missed but I could not bring myself to care, I would be spending the evening with the man I loved.

I walked on four paws into Hogsmead, a light rain had started to fall and my spirits were high as I reached the door to the tavern and changed back into my human form.

I went to the bar and ordered my usual Gillywater and went in search of Albus. I knew that even though I was on time that he would be here already.

I found him sitting in the shadows at the back of the building on a sofa. I walked over and right away I could tell that something was wrong. Just in the way he sat, the fact that he was reading a book or should I say he appeared to be reading a book. The second I sat down I knew that kissing him would have been the wrong thing to do, he was wearing the darkest robes I have ever seen on him, a colour between deep purple and black; the way he would not meet my gaze, his restless hands turning an imaginary object and he was holding his shoulders like a man condemned. We exchanged small talk, sometimes I hate being a woman, and I hate being able to sense impending doom.

I'd been there for all of five minutes when he said the dreaded words.

"I need to tell you something. We need to talk." Unnerving Minerva McGonagall is difficult at the best of times, I teach teenagers for Merlin's sake. But he had destroyed whatever sense of peace I had achieved that day.

I let him continue I had no inclination to interrupt him; I also had no inclination to hear what it was he had to say. But I am a Griffindor and as such I do not hide from anything.

"Minerva my dear I do not want to continue hurting you and I know I have caused you pain. I cannot continue to be your lover, you deserve better than I will ever be able to give you." I sat there and closed my eyes I wanted so much to cry in that moment. But again being Minerva McGonagall I do not cry in public.

He's sitting there looking as if he expects me to grab my wand and scream Avada Kedavra. He doesn't know at all if he believes that is what I will do.

"Give me a minute. I don't want to cry in public, people will think the world is about to end." I breathe and try to get myself under control. Being the realist I am my heart is already beginning to build the wall that will keep it safe.

"What do you expect me to say Albus? You have hurt me to stop hurting me. Somehow that isn't comforting." He's still got that look on his face the look that is screaming I deserve to be hurt. He is searching my face trying to gleam any information he can from my expression, which by now is as unreadable as some of my students handwriting.

"I have been worse than a cad Minerva; letting you down constantly, not being there for you, forgetting your birthday, letting you spend Halloween alone." I want to tell him that I know his job will always claim the lions share of his time; that cooking for me on my birthday was a gift in itself; that it was not the first Halloween I had spent alone, and that I doubted it would be the last. I want to tell him that none of that matters that as long as I have my moments with him it is enough. He doesn't let me.

"Minerva it's not you its me. You have done nothing to deserve the way I have been treating you." What does the saying 'it's not you it's me' really mean anyway? I have never understood it.

"There is no hidden agenda, there is no one else." Why say that? Until he said that the thought hadn't crossed my mind and even now I dismiss it out of hand.

I'm trying to find someway of telling him what I'm feeling. But I can't. I want to scream WHY but that will do me no good. I want to tell him all the reasons I care, all the reasons I don't want him to leave me. Something is holding me back, I know every word he says is true that he has hurt me and I even believe that he truly cares for me.

I'm looking at him now as if I expect him to say something I really wish he would, something like he doesn't care, that there is another woman, something real I can understand and yet I know he won't.

"I need another drink." I say he stands.

"I'll get it." I offer him the money to pay but he refuses.

"I guess you want something stronger?"

"A double firewiskey please." He walks to the bar and I'm trying hard to stop my feelings from showing on my face. I don't want to leave his side right now. But I am unsure of what to do. Should I leave or would it be better to stay? I had hoped that tonight we would have ended up in his chambers, in his bed. Somehow Albus 'dumping me', as my students would put it has not put me off that idea.

I remember thinking that only I Minerva McGonagall would be thinking about sleeping with my lover who had just broken my heart.

The night ended as I had envisaged, back in his chambers in his bed with the added exception of me creeping out just before dawn with a tear stained face knowing that I would never be the same again.

**END FLASHBACK**

* * *

Meanwhile Albus was still in the kitchen, he had barely moved a muscle since Minerva had left him to think. She had made a mockery of all he held true, yet if he considered what he had done to her in the past few weeks she had every right to be angry with him for asking the question he had.

After all she had not cursed nor hexed him for ending their relationship, she had been a model friend, keeping a polite distance, offering help only when it was appropriate and being there when he wanted her to be.

Last night he had turned up uninvited at her house, he had told her it was because he wanted to talk with her. Yet in truth he had missed her in the week since term had ended. He had missed her presence in his everyday life, even the little thing like seeing her at meals or discussing administration duties and he had missed her presence in his bed. But he had no right to miss what he had given up; he had no right to expect the privileges of a relationship when he was not prepared to commit to one.

Last night he had taken what had been given and she had done the same. So why was he a mess this morning? He had gotten what he wanted and there would be no recriminations from Minerva. She was content with the situation as it stood without explanations, so why wasn't he?

But the question she had left him to ponder was whether or not he was in love with her. Three weeks ago he had told her he didn't love her and could not continue to be with her knowing she was in love with him. He had taken advantage of her for too long, he had done the right thing had he not?

Albus thought back to the morning before the night he had broken her heart, to the silent musing of his restless mind.

**

* * *

**

**FLASHBACK (A/N:** Albus is just thinking here, only his thoughts are displayed

My heart aches, I know I want her and yet I know I do not love her. What I want from her is the pleasures she can offer my flesh not my soul.

It can be said that I care for her, if I didn't my mind would not be debating my intentions it would be making actions of them.

As it stands I am in what most would call a moral quandary, a novel state of affairs for me. I had thought morals were for those without the disposition to reject them, I now know they are the code followed by any decent human beings heart.  
Does that make me less than human? Does it mean that while I lie awake at night alone and think of her beneath me, above me, welcoming me, that I have no such heart?

For years I have flitted from one lover to the next with little regard for their feelings or indeed for my own, I have made no secret of the fact that I take what pleasure I can and respond in kind. How else do you suppose I got to be a 100-year-old bachelor?

But dwelling on that fact will get me nowhere; I need to understand my sudden attack of guilt with regards to Minerva or rather why said remorse led to my ending our relationship.

In the first few months we spent a lot of time together, in bed together, evenings out together, at work together, then somewhere along the way we started to spend less and less time together. It was mostly my fault the constraints of my office taking me away from other past times, Minerva feeling sidelined and retaliating in kind. We were lucky if we spent one night in thirty together and when we did our conversation was strained and our lovemaking hurried as if it were simply to remind us that the other was there.

It was just after Halloween when I realised that neither of us were getting much out of our relationship. I began to feel guilty about leaving her alone, I felt the distance growing between us; I could no longer ignore that the number of nights Minerva cried herself to sleep because of me was growing, and decided that it would be best if we parted ways.

I did not want to take into account the depth of Minerva's feelings for me. It was easier for me to think that to a woman like her I was nothing but a distraction from the daily grind. I refused to see past the image of Professor McGonagall that Minerva projected to the world, I did not want to acknowledge that she was in pain because of her love for me.

Should this be the end? Or should I take more time to discover my heart, to see if I could feel more for her if I just let go?  
Why am I so confused? Why am I not content to simply let her go and say to hell with the fact that she loves me? That it is her own fault for letting her heart get involved.  
But I can't, she is my friend, my colleague, my employee, my former lover and yet she is so much more than all of these things.

I say I do not love her, but I have to ask would I truly know the difference? I have never loved, I have never needed, and in the past it has only ever been about what I have wanted.  
I can picture her face smiling, laughing, regarding me with love, screaming my name as she comes, her beating me at chess or running into my office to share some bit of information or gossip she had received, the way her hair would fall about her face as the day wore on, and her concentration when working.

This woman has given me more than I could have wished for and still I cannot give her what she most desires. I cannot offer her myself without reserve.

**END FLASHBACK**

* * *

As the hall clock chimed 10am one witch, one wizard; one in the kitchen, one in the attic, paced the rooms they occupied as their minds tried to answer questions they wished they had never asked.

**End Chapter**

* * *

**A/N:** I hope you enjoyed reading this chapter, if you did or you didn't please hit that little button and leave a review even if it is just to say that you read it. The next chapter is Minerva and Albus finally talking everything out and of course Albus's answer to Minerva's request and whether Minerva accepts what he as to say or not. See you soon. **Morgana-Alex**


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer**: Please see chapter 1

**A/N:** Many thanks to **allthesame,** **Quill of Minerva, Alesia G, girl from Iceland, Angeldust-aka-Evilwoman, esb** who reviewed chapter 5 and to all those who are still reading this story. A big, big thank-you and a box of hugs and kisses to my one and only Bella for keeping me going when I wanted to give up. **MA**

Hello everyone; here it is after a long wait for which I heartily apologise. This chapter is not a happy one; it deals with the confrontation between Minerva and Albus when Albus gives Minerva her answer. However please do not be too disheartened this only brings to a close the part of the story that deals with the end of their affair, part 1 if you like; referring to the quote I used in the beginning, Minerva was at first Albus's acquaintance, she has been his lover and so now she can become his friend. But as we all know there are feelings to be dealt with first and it also takes a willingness on both sides to make a friendship work. So part 2 How a Friendship Begins will follow soon in chapters 7 and upward. **Morgana-Alex**

**The end of the affair or How Albus and Minerva became friends.**

**By Morgana-Alex**

**Chapter 6**

Air rushed past Minerva as she stood her arms wrapped around her waist, her back facing the attic door, as it swung open.

Albus regarded the scene in front of him, he felt the quite melancholy that filled the room and noted that Minerva had not turned to face him.

"Minerva." The wizard called hoping to make her turn. The witch stood defiant, any acknowledgement she might give him he would have to earn.

Taking uncertain steps towards his deputy, his former lover and if he could salvage the situation his friend; Albus began to speak.

"Minerva I know I have no right to ask you to listen to me, to what I want to say. Nevertheless I ask that you hear me out, I cannot promise to tell you what you want to hear. But you will get my answer to your question; please forgive me if I take a detour before getting to it." Minerva turned slowly to her right and then to look toward him, her arms still about her waist, her face a picture of unashamed sadness.

Albus was weighed down with the emotions the woman in front of him was projecting; the urge to run and comfort her was overwhelming. Such action would not help him now; he wisely chose to stand stock-still.

"Alright Albus I will listen to what it is you have to say. I ask you not to sugar coat the truth; I want to hear the thoughts of your heart and your head no matter what you assume I may think of them. I think I deserve that much at least." Minerva resumed her seat upon the floor once again disbursing the dust into the air, her uneasy grace screaming fatigue.

Albus watched her as she sank to the floor, this was not the strong, stoic witch he knew, this was a world-weary woman who had had enough of life treating her with contempt.

"Minerva I do not know where to begin so I will start where it makes sense to start. When you joined the staff I noticed this beautiful, vibrant woman who's energy and style differed from everything the school's staff had to offer.

But I also saw someone who was unavailable to me, how could a Witch who had travelled the world, who was used to a lifestyle I could not provide for her, the most independent woman I had ever met who could have anyone she wanted, ever want a silly old coot like me.

I took a chance and I asked you out, I offered myself to you fully expecting you to turn me down and my dear you surprised me greatly when you said yes. I thanked Merlin every time I saw you and yet uncertainty and doubt continued to pervade my thoughts.

You had led such a full life and all I could offer you was myself, I had and still have a hard time believing that that could be enough for you." He looked into her eyes as he finished that sentence and worried that she might hex him. Minerva's face echoed her heart sorrow shone in her eyes.

"Albus you truly do not understand do you. Yes I could have anyone I set my cap at, I know that many men and women would chose to be at my side, but I chose to be with you Albus no other, I do not want someone who can give me material gifts, I do not want someone who thinks my love can be bought, I want a kind, gentle man who can give me the only gifts I prize, love, friendship and time. That is all I have ever wanted Albus, things no amount of money can buy.

My question is simple Albus if you cannot give me your time, your friendship and cannot tell me you love me with all your heart, then stop this, leave my house and we will resume our professional relationship when I return to Hogwarts for the start of term. But that is all our relationship will be Albus, professional." Minerva still seated on the floor now regarded Albus with as much hope as fear in her eyes, once again she had placed her heart in his hands and given him the power to cherish it or to stamp upon it.

For his part Albus started pacing backwards and forwards 10 steps before each turn, to retrace the previous 10. Fear held sway in his heart and his head, the woman sitting a few feet from him had asked him to admit her into his life forever or leave her alone, a choice he was unsure he wanted to or could make.

"Minerva please do not push me to answer too quickly, you may not like what you hear." Albus regretted the words the moment he had uttered them, Minerva rose to her feet tears filing her already swollen eyes.

"Then you have given me your answer Albus, I would be grateful if you would leave now." Minerva made to walk past him; she needed to get as far away from him as was possible. The wizard grabbed her arm forcing her to halt her retreat and to look at him.

"Minerva please do not push me away just yet. If when I have finished you still want me to go then I will go. But I beg you to hear me out." The Witch pulled her arm away her head telling her that he would say nothing her heart wanted to hear and her heart imploring her to stay.

"Then talk Albus you will not get another chance." Her words were like ice to his ears, her face assuring him that she meant what she had said.

"Merlin Minerva, I know I have hurt you, I know that I am treading on extremely thin ground that gets thinner with every word I speak. I know that the words you want to hear are the very words I fear. You have asked if I love you? My answer would be that I have no idea what love is, I have never loved anyone and I would say that no one has ever truly loved me. I have never given my friendship without reserve or question, and my time has many demands upon it, some more important than any one person in my life." He paused more for affect that anything else, it was clear he had lost her and that he deserved to lose her. But there was more to say, more to explain to make her understand.

"Is that what you want from me Minerva? Do you truly want to be tied to a man who can offer you nothing save himself, a man who cannot offer you the commitment you deserve, a man with whom you will never come first, a man who could never love you as you ought to be loved?

Because all I can offer is myself, I cannot give you commitment of any kind, you will never come before my children and my work, and I will never love you with all my heart.

Can you accept all that and still want me? Can you accept all that and not end up resenting or hating me for trapping you? Can you accept all that and still be the most wonderful Minerva you are today? And I suppose there is also the question can I let you accept all that, can I let you give up your heart to such an undeserving man, knowing that you can under no circumstances change him?

Minerva I do care a great deal for you, but I do not believe it is enough to allow you to tie yourself to me; it is precisely because I care that I cannot let you do this to yourself.

I am sorry Minerva that I have to hurt you in this fashion again, I am sorry that I have sown the seeds of hate in your heart, I am sorry for all the pain you will go though because of me. But my answer has to be no Minerva, I do not love you." Minerva had once again turned away from him; there were no tears in her eyes this time, they held only pity for the woman she had been just a few short minutes ago and for the man who was doomed to wander alone for the rest of his life because of his fear of love.

Albus turned to leave he knew he was no longer welcome in McGonagall Manor.

"Albus wait, I have listened to you and now I would be grateful if you would listen to me." The wizard halted his exit the least he could do was hear whatever diatribe she had for him.

"You still believe after all this time that I wish to hurt you" a moments pause to smile as she looked into his eyes "and no Albus I have no need to read your mind when I can see your thoughts so clearly on your face. Yes you have hurt me, yes right now my instinct is to lash out and inflict a little of what you have done to me onto you. But I find that I cannot hurt you Albus, to hurt you would increase my own pain and I have no desire to do that.

Albus you tell me that you have never truly loved another human being and that until you met me you had no idea what it was like to be loved by another, I pity a person who isn't able to feel love, who has never known their heart to beat faster just because they have caught a glimpse of their hearts desire, I pity a person who has never felt the satisfaction of pleasing the one they love, who has never risked everything just to be near another.

I pity you Albus and hope that you find whatever it is you are seeking, or that you have the courage to face whatever it is you are hiding from. I hope that one day you allow someone in to your heart and never let them go.

You once asked for my friendship and I was willing to give you my all without reserve, now however I realise that I can never be the friend I should be, I will always be second guessing my words, my actions and my thoughts, I will always be a closed book to you and that would make me a lousy friend. I will of course always be your loyal employee, you will not have cause to question my intentions towards the school and it's pupils. But that is all I will be to you Albus your employee, your colleague, I ask that you never stray from that narrow path, that you never ask me to be alone in your company ever again, and above all I ask you not to tempt me again, right now I can stop my heart from hating you please do not give me a reason to let it.

Now I would be grateful if you would leave my house headmaster, I have a lot of work to do."

Albus turned and this time no one would be calling him back, he had given up the only good thing in his life, he had given up the only person who had ever cared deeply for him and for what? He had given her up because he had feared her influence over him; he had feared he would lose himself if he had given up his heart to love.

Minerva had once again turned her back on the man who would always hold her heart, she had done the only thing she could,she had sent him away to save her sanity. But it was a decision she would live to regret and maybe one-day change.

**End Chapter**

**A/N: **If you got this far then please just go that little bit further and hit the little button to leave me a review, even if it is just to say I'm still reading.

Chapter 7 will be up when I have pieced it together I will make no promises when that will be. It will be about how Minerva and Albus's relationship settles in to the professional formality it should have started with in the first place. See you soon. **Morgana-Alex**


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer:** Please see chapter one.

**A/N:** Many many thank-yous to **allthesame, Alesia G, Lethal Lunacy, Quill of Minerva Angeldust-aka-Evilwoman, Siree, Mellypoo622, Spector'sGirl, secondhandroses, Subbulakshmi** who reviewed chapter 6 and to all those who are still reading this story thank-you.

To **allthesame** - darling I would marry you in a heartbeat.

To **Alesia G **- The year in question here would be 1958, apart from that I ask that you make no assumptions on Albus's intentions.

And one last thank-you to my darling Bella thank-you for being you and being there for me. **MA**

This chapter is not quite as depressing as the last but that is not to say that it is much happier than the last because it is not.

In this chapter I try to show a little of the interaction between Minerva and Albus when they are both back at Hogwarts, all trying to show a state of mind that leads to the last event in this chapter. **Morgana-Alex**

* * *

**The end of the affair or How Albus and Minerva became Friends**

**By Morgana-Alex**

**Chapter 7 **

The day before the start of term arrived at Hogwarts, as did the schools transfiguration professor in robes of her trademark green and a deep black velvet travelling cloak.

Minerva stood on the top step of the stone stairs leading to the front doors of Hogwarts – She had always found the description of front doors lacking in every regard, the doors were at least 15ft high and almost the same length wide, they were made of the finest oak gathered from the forests of Hampshire, they were then varnished with the finest golden brown stain glaze that could be found anywhere in the world, it helped that woven in to the mixture were treads of pure magic, and that they had been charmed by the founders to protect as well as to serve.

The witch hesitated to walk forward thus commanding the doors to open for her, it had been merely a week since she had all but thrown the headmaster out of her home, he had taken her heart with him and she had told him that they would be colleagues nothing more. Minerva didn't have the first idea how she was going to cope with that state of affairs and as she bid Hogwarts front doors open she felt almost afraid of herself or more specifically her heart.

Albus - dressed in robes of a purple so dark they were almost black, no twinkle in his blue eyes and his countenance wearing a sombre expression - was waiting on the staircase as the doors closed behind her, the transfiguration professor made her way to the stairs and as her eyes fell upon the headmaster her heart jumped and then sank just a quickly. She knew he was not waiting there to tell her he had changed his mind.

'And so it begins' Minerva muttered under her breath and the sentiment was not lost on the man on the stairs.

"Good day Headmaster" Her voice harsher than she had intended, but it would have to do it was better to be seen as harsh than to cry her heart out in front of him again.

"Professor McGonagall. I trust you had a pleasant journey?" He answered, polite and professional just as she had asked him to be.

"Yes thank-you headmaster, now if you will excuse me I have the first day of term to prepare for." Not waiting to hear his answer she resumed her assent.

Albus stood quietly on the stairs watching her until she was out of even his sight, for the first time it truly sank in, he realised just what he had given up 7 days ago.

Weary already, he began the walk to his private chambers unaware that the entire episode had been observed.

* * *

Once Minerva had arrived at her office she threw her shrunken luggage at the wall with all the force she possessed, she had been back all of 10 minutes and she was already rattled. 

Colleagues, that's what they were now. They had gone from acquaintances, to lovers, to fragile friends, to colleagues, all within the space of a year; Barriers of uncertainty, of passion, of time, of grief, of silence, and of pain replaced by one of professionalism. It was the situation she had proffered hoping to save her heart from further sorrow and yet right now she would gladly have given anything to take back the event that led to such a harsh reality.

However the head of Gryffindor did not make decisions lightly nor did she back away from those she had already made.

Minerva set to work making sure her lesson plans were more than adequate for the days ahead, she made notes about on going detentions, punishments and projects as well as catching up on anything that may have befallen the school, its professors or students over the holidays. She ate lunch in her office - a custom she had perfected in her year at Hogwarts always claiming - should anyone ask - that she had far too much paper work to do to grace the great hall with her presence in the middle of the day.

Albus sat at his desk trying to make short work of all the letters he had received from the ministry; he didn't even stop for lunch an event almost unheard of in his years at Hogwarts.

He was having trouble concentrating when he noticed a folder on his desk the handwriting unmistakeable, his deputy had obviously activated the charm they had set up to prevent her from having to run to his office every time she finished a report.

The look on her face as she had entered the castle now consumed his mind, it had been a look of defeat and sadness, a look Minerva McGonagall should never wear, but he held on to his resolve he had done the right thing, if only she could see that.

* * *

They spent the rest of the day in their respective offices, without the company of the other, both knowing full well that they would need to confer before the students arrived the next morning. 

A brown/white owl knocking at her office tower window took a while to catch the stoic Witch's attention and when she opened the window to let him in he made her aware of his annoyance by thrusting his leg towards her in a less than gentlemanly manner. Minerva gave him 2 owl treats and sent him on his way.

She took her seat again after recognising the loopy script as that of the headmaster, slowly she opened the parchment and read the message.

_My apologies for the intrusion professor but could you please join me and the other head's of house in my office for a short meeting._

_Kind Regards_

_Professor Dumbledore._

* * *

The head of Gryffindor was the last to arrive and as soon as she seated herself the meeting began. 

It was the usual beginning of term conference, Quidditch, House points, the latest items Filch had banned were discussed and as usual Albus talked more than was necessary, but the tension between the headmaster and his deputy was palpable, their usual dynamic missing, as a result when the meeting was finally brought to a close the heads of Ravenclaw, Hufflepuff and Slytherin literally ran from the room leaving Minerva and Albus alone.

Minerva was not as quick as her colleagues so when she stood to gather her belongings she found herself in a situation she didn't want to be in, she was alone with Albus.

"Goodnight professor." She said as she turned and made for the door, she had walked no more than 5 steps when he called her back.

"Minerva." She stopped dead but refused to turn.

"I think this is yours." The witch turned to see him holding a neat stack of parchment. Pausing briefly to wonder why he didn't just send it by owl or house elf or any number of other ways that would not require her to be here at this time, she moved to take the pile from his hands, without a word of thanks or further acknowledgement of the wizard.

"Goodnight Professor McGonagall." Albus whispered as Minerva took her leave from his office, his eyes almost boring in to her back.

As she rounded the corner to her rooms she found the head of Slytherin waiting for her.

"Horace is there anything I can do for you?" The professor smiled.

"Always Minerva. But I am here to see if there is anything I can do for you, since your return this morning I have noticed that you are not your usual self, you seem distracted and after that meeting I would hazard a guess that it has something to do with our beloved Professor Dumbledore." He did not mention that he had witnessed their little frost bitten greeting this morning. Tonight she had no wish to rebuff further advances from the potions professor, while there was little chance of her giving in to him, she did not want to test her strength while in her current mood.

"Horace I am rather tired and while I appreciate your concern I must ask you to let me be. It has been a long day for those of us who went home for the holidays." Again without another word or further acknowledgement of the wizard in front of her, Minerva entered her chambers and dissolved into tears, leaving the wizard to listen to her heartfelt sobs on the other side of the door.

* * *

One month later: 

The staff room had been busy less that an hour ago and now only 3 teachers remained, Albus, Minerva and Professor Bins.

"I bid you goodnight Minerva, Albus, see you at breakfast." The moment the history of magic teacher left Minerva sprang to her feet and made to leave.

"Minerva there is no need to leave just because there is no one else in the room, I am quite sure that we can work in the same room together for an hour or 2 even without a chaperone. " She considered his words carefully.

"Of course you are right Professor but I had just noticed the time and I have a very full day ahead of me tomorrow, so I will bid you goodnight." Minerva resumed the collection of her things and made once more for the door.

"Goodnight Headmaster."

"Good night professor." Albus replied to her retreating back and closing door.

* * *

Months past in this manner, and they finally settled in to a routine of professional courtesy, nods were exchanged in corridors and polite conversation could be found at the breakfast table. Meetings were no longer minefields and the tension dropped to a tolerable level. 

However the headmaster and his deputy still could not be considered friends, acquaintances perhaps, colleagues definitely, but no more, and so past - for the most part - the spring and summer terms.

* * *

Sleep no longer came easily to the headmaster, since the beginning of the spring term he could be found walking the halls of Hogwarts at any time of the night. 

Sleep had never come easily to the deputy headmistress; since she had joined the school - on the nights she had not spent in the headmaster's bed - she could be found roaming the corridors of Hogwarts at any time of the night.

The astronomy tower loomed high over the battlements of the castle its dim lights a welcome, if slight relief from the gloom of this stormy night, rain lashed against stone walls and enchanted windows, Minerva had seen a night like this before.

The transfiguration professor wandered the hallowed halls in search of exhaustion, hoping that a long walk would allow her to finally fall asleep, her unplanned route lead her to the foot of the stairs to the astronomy tower, feeling that the climb could be just what she needed Minerva placed her right foot on the bottom stair.

The equally frustrated insomniac Albus sat watching the raindrops run along the windowpanes, join others and then collect at the base, order or chaos he could not decide but they were soothing the chaotic noise in his head and so he continued to stare.

Step by step she ascended when a thought hit her what if someone, a student or a professor already occupied the tower? What if she interrupted a tryst? Would she be able to brazen through or would she fall to pieces as she had done when she had discovered the head of Slytherin with the care of magic creatures teacher in the staff room late one evening, true months had passed since that incident but the thought of anyone happy and in love still only served to remind her of her loss.

Footstep after footstep he heard, only one person he was sure but what if they belonged to a student? What if they belonged to a member of staff expecting to meet another for an assignation in the solitude of the place he now occupied? Would it do to hide? There was nowhere to go, the echo of the footsteps told him that whoever it was they were getting closer by the second.

Tentative pace followed pace and to her own ears the echo's sounded loud enough to wake the castle, surely whoever was up here could hear her approach? She mused as the final stairs came in to her line of sight, perhaps humming would warn anyone - foolish enough to be out here in this weather - as to her presence in the tower, Minerva thought and began with the first few notes of Mozart's 40th Symphony.

Footsteps surely he should recognise the footfall of anyone of the current professors; Albus's ears pricked up and he turned his head as a melancholic tune reached said ears, he tried to place it, both the melody and the voice were familiar to him…it took him only seconds longer to realise that he was familiar with the music as it was Minerva favourite muggle classic and the voice was that of his former lover.

As Minerva reached the final step that hindered her view of the platform that was the highest inside point the tower her voice caught in her throat as her eyes fell upon the only person she did not expect to see sitting on the cold, hard stone floor.

He did not have time to move or to consider what he might have done to avoid causing the woman - now staring wide eyed at him with more than a shocked expression on her face - any more pain.

Minerva was the first to react she did not want to be anywhere near the man in front of her, not like this and not on a night like this one.

"Minerva wait." Albus rose to his feet and with a speed that belied his age he was behind the retreating witch in seconds, he took her arm in an effort to halt her withdrawal.

Minerva did not turn to face him; once again he would have to earn that courtesy.

"Please Minerva." The Witch turned around slowly, trying not to meet the wizard's eyes.

"Minerva please look at me." Tears had already formed in her eyes; to let them fall would be a weakness the head of Gryffindor was not about to show in front of their cause.

The Witch met his eyes and saw that he too had been crying, the lines running from his eyes to his chin were testament to that, it was obvious he had not made any attempt to interrupt their flow. Without thinking Minerva raised her right hand to wipe the offending drops of water from his left cheek, cautiously making sure his eyes never left hers he raised his hand to cover hers clasping it to his face and her tears begin to fall in earnest…

"Albus?" Minerva whispered, as her tears began to stop and her eyes once again met his.

"Hush my dear." Albus replied before lowering his lips to hers. They were a millimetre from their target when he heard the faint pop and felt his hand give way to empty air; Minerva was now in her Animagus form fleeing from him, her fear evident in her speed, the world weary Wizard stood motionless watching her back disappear into the shadows, a view he was become far to familiar with…

**End Chapter**

* * *

**A/N:** Alright I know it jumps around a bit in this chapter but as much as I wanted to I could not write 2 terms worth of moments so I just picked the ones that would make my point. Which I hope by the way you understand, if you don't then email me and I shall try to explain it in a better way. 

Chapter 8 is going to be the fall out of the last scene, but do not fear it is not nearly as dire as the facts suggest.

If you got this far then please just go that little bit further and hit the little button to leave me a review, even if it is just to say I'm still reading.

See you soon. **Morgana-Alex**


	8. Chapter 8

**Disclaimer:** Please see chapter 1

**A/N:** Many thanks to **allthesame, Lethal Lunacy, Zazzle, esb, ismaco, Quill of Minerva, Palanfanaiel, toni, Alesia G, Lady-jolly** for reviewing, it is you guys who keep me writing. I am sorry this update took a while to post; my only excuse is that life got in the way again.

In this chapter we have the fall out of the last paragraph of chapter 7, I wrote this chapter with two different endings but decided on this one, as I am sure you all - but in particular you hard core ADMMer's out there - would have murdered me if I had posted the other one.

I hope you like this chapter, but even if you don't please leave me a review to let me know your thoughts. **MA **

The Poem To Late? Is mine, I wrote it sometime ago when life was not as wonderful for me as it is now, if you want to use it please email me to let me know.

As always this chapter is dedicated to my love, my one and only whom I love with all my heart, thank-you for being you my darling and for loving me. xxx

* * *

****

The End of the Affair or How Albus and Minerva became friends

By Morgana-Alex

****

Chapter 8

Minerva ran and ran back to her chambers and warded the door behind her; knowing full well that if the headmaster wanted to gain access to her rooms any ward she could cast would not be enough to keep him out.

Once again she collapsed in tears, sinking down to the floor, 6 months had now passed since Albus had ended their relationship and yet she was no closer to moving on with her life.

Albus stood in silence, fresh tears in his eyes, once again he had done something rash and caused her to run from him; once again he had given her reason to hate him.

But this time he could not leave her to the pain, this time he had to tell her why he refused to keep his distance or to truly close the offending void.

Minerva sat, her back against her four-poster bed, using the corner of her green silk coverlet to wipe her eyes; she admonished herself again for not being strong, for not having the courage to let go of her love for Albus.

Albus had made up his mind he would try to find her right this minute, she deserved to know what was on his mind and why once again he had made a move that was less than wise.

Minerva's tears stopped abruptly and anger rose in her pain filled eyes. 'Why am I crying when I should be hexing Albus in to the here after? This is his fault once again, he made a choice that didn't include me in his life and yet again he is trying to blur the line he drew through my heart.' She stood and screamed at the top of her voice drawing the attention of the portraits in her rooms.

Albus was almost at her chambers, speech prepared in his head when he heard a blood-curdling scream, which caused his pace to quicken considerably.

"Let me in immediately." He ordered the portrait.

"I'm sorry headmaster but I have been warded against your admittance."

"But Min…Professor McGonagall just screamed she could be in trouble. Let me in at once." He demanded again with no more success.

"Professor McGonagall is not being harmed, her scream was born out of frustration and anger it was not a cry for help." The Elegant lady stood defiant, she was this sanctuary's guardian and she would not be foiled by even the grandest Wizard of the age.

"I want to tell her that I am sorry, I want to tell her that I did not mean to cause her anymore pain. I want the chance to tell her that I was wrong." Albus turned and held his head in his hands feeling that tonight was his night for losing once again; he began the slow walk to his office.

"Wrong about what?" A cool calm and collected Minerva stood beside her portrait as the man in front of her turned in surprise.

"Minerva?" It came out as more of a question than he had intended but it stood.

"You have one chance Albus so I suggest that you use it wisely and get on with whatever it is you wanted to say." Deja vous screaming in her head she had given him this chance before, he had used it then to her detriment.

"Minerva I was wrong to try and kiss you earlier, it was wrong of me to try that after we were just getting…just becoming…" Albus was struggling to string a sentence together and Minerva cut him off.

"Albus for Merlin's sake this lack of eloquence does not become you."

"Then when we were just starting to be a little more than civil to each other. When maybe we had a chance at a friendship in the future"

"Albus in the attic of my house some months ago I asked you not to tempt me again, that I could stop my heart from hating you and I asked you not to give me a reason to let it.

Albus you have just tempted me again and given me a reason to stop fighting my heart and let it hate you. Do you know how easy it would have been for me just to melt into your arms earlier? Do you have any idea just how much I still care?" She took a step back trying to regain a little of her trademark composure before adding.

"Give me one good reason Albus why I should not hex you in to the hereafter for what you have done today." Albus stood perplexed he was at a complete loss as to a reason why she should not do as she proposed. After all she had every reason to hate him for what he had done to her.

"Minerva if hexing me will make you feel better then please do as you must, I can offer no defence for my actions." Minerva shook her head, had he called her bluff or had he simply given up.

"Merlin Albus, you infuriate me intensely, right now ever fibre of my being is screaming at me to inflict some kind of pain on you. As I know that I cannot inflict pain on your heart I am left with the option of physical harm and that idea is even more abhorrent to me."

One hand raised to her forehead the other to her hip Minerva paused; a different tack was needed and the witch knew it, neither of them needed to wallow in self-pity now. Her hands returned to her sides as she continued.

"Albus know that I could never knowingly cause you any pain, but I have asked you not to keep causing me heartache. Albus we were getting on quite well, albeit as colleagues. But we could hold a civil conversation and I held out hope that maybe one day we could have been friends.

Albus all the ground we had covered in the last 6 months you wiped out with a single ill-conceived action, you didn't just try to kiss me, you were trying to save yourself further grief, and I refuse to make your burden any lighter.

Albus I do not like going around in circles especially when I am trying to find a way to live with unrequited love.

Albus I asked you not to do this to me again and yet here we are back at square one, and that has made me realise how foolish it was of me to remain here at Hogwarts. You have forced my hand Albus, you will have my resignation on your desk first thing in the morning, I shall of course complete the remaining 3 weeks of the school year but come September you will need a replacement. I bid you goodnight headmaster I have a letter to write."

* * *

The Witch turned on her heels with what little composure she had left and once again found a hand on her arm preventing her escape. 

Eyes that had been pools of green a moment before were now swirling clouds of anger did Albus not understand just how far he had pushed this remarkable woman?

"Do I need to say the words Albus or are you going to show some sign of common sense and self-preservation?" Her back to him still, her voice the epitome of controlled anger, her heart breaking in two once more.

Albus did not release his hold on her in fact he stepped closer to her and again risked the wrath of Minerva McGonagall.

"Albus if I need to warn you again come the morning Hogwarts will need a new headmaster." Fear in her voice now; fear of and for herself, fear of the unknown and fear of him.

"Don't go Minerva." No more than a whisper but she had heard him, the words had held pain and sadness, anger and dejection and yet they were not enough not after all that had happened between them.

"Albus we have been through this twice now, you cannot give me what I want and cannot let me be, I have no choice I must leave." Albus's face a picture of lost hope.

Albus fished in the pocket of his robes, he withdrew an envelope addressed to Minerva, and he hesitated for a few seconds before handing it to the Witch in front of him.

"I cannot make you stay Minerva, but I would not want you to leave without reading this. I know things have gone to far for you to change your mind and I have no reason to hope for anything yet you need to know…please read it, that is all I ask." The Wizard let go of her arm feeling every one of his 100 years in that very moment, he turned and began the walk to his chambers leaving her in silence knowing that come the morning he would have to read her resignation letter and let her go for good.

* * *

Minerva went back in to her rooms, the envelope still in her outstretched hand, shock beginning to register on her face, she sat in front of the fire in her sitting room, her eyes fixed on the flames and her mind running away with thoughts she didn't want to entertain. 

The transfiguration professor turned the envelope over and over in her hands wanting to put off opening it for as long as she could, she knew that it would not contain anything she particularly wanted to read.

As the clock began to strike 2am she knew that it had to be now or never, if she didn't open the letter right this moment, she would lose the confidence to read it at all.

Slowly Minerva removed her wand from her sleeve and taped the Dumbledore family seal.

_

* * *

My Dearest Minerva, _

Do I still have the right to call you that? Does it even matter to you anymore?

I know I have caused you much sorrow in the last year and I fully regret my actions that lead to your pain.

I have asked myself if I would change anything, would I go back and say yes instead of no or no instead of yes and in truth there is only one thing I would change and that is the moment in your attic when you asked if I loved you, I said no, I know now that my answer should have been the answer of my heart not my head; I told you no because I was frightened, because I was scared of losing you, I thought that if I made the break it would be easier in the long run for both of us. I know now that I could not have been more wrong in that assessment.

I do love you Minerva Morgana McGonagall, if I am honest and look back at the past year I can say that I fell in love with you the first time you beat me at chess, the look of pure triumph was a joy to behold, your smile in that moment was blinding in clarity and it was then that I lost my heart to you.

I know that I should have told you all those months ago, I have no excuse and would not insult you by offering them to you now, I can only say that I will accept what ever you decide to do with regards to me and I would understand if you never want to talk to me again.

I found the poem below in a muggle book, its writer was clearly in a lot of pain when she wrote it and it applies at least in part to what I feel in regard to you.

****

Too Late?

You'd think I'd learn my lesson

That I'd learn from my mistakes

That I'd say what's in my heart

Before it was too late.

I've seen so many things that make me wonder why, good bad and even some that make me want to cry.

I can't change the sorrow that I feel at not being able to change your heart of make the world stand still.

You'd think I'd learn my lesson

That's I'd learn from my mistakes

That I'd say what's in my heart

Before it was too late

I know not why I love you, only that I do; my heart fills with joy at just the thought of you.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that your always be in my heart, even if in your life I'll never play a big part.

I've learnt my lesson

I've learnt from my mistakes

I've said what's in my heart

But I know now it is too late.

By J.A.A 2001

I love you Minerva with everything I am and everything I have, my world is yours if you want it.

Always and forever

Albus x

* * *

The letter fell from the tired Witch's hands, her world had been rebuild and crumbled again in the time it had taken her to read his missive, 'he loves me' repeated time and again in her mind as tears once again began to fall from her eyes.

'Why Albus? Why now? Why not then, why not last month, or yesterday or even this morning? Why wait until now, until I have almost gone mad with grief? You say you love me and yet it is not enough, it would have been had you said in on that cold winters night. But now my trust in you is not what I believe it should be.'

One Witch, one Wizard stood, each in their respective chambers thinking of the other while standing at their windows staring at the stars. Both lost in fear and pain, would either be the same again?

**End Chapter**

**A/N:** Ok I know there is a lot of angst in this chapter but at least now we know that Albus really does love Minerva a high point I hope, even if not a big one.

Chapter 9: will Minerva resign or not? Will she welcome Albus with open arms or not? Will these two ever be the same again. Find out in the next instalment.

If you got this far please leave a review even if it is just to say you love it, you hate it or just that you are still reading many thanks. **Morgana-Alex**


	9. Chapter 9

**Disclaimer:** Please see chapter 1

**A/N:** Many thanks to allthesame, Quill of Minerva, Masque42, ISMACO, Palanfanaiel, DamesFan, Katrine, Laughing Siren, harrypotternerd, PiER for reviewing; it is you guys who keep me writing. I am sorry this update took a while to post; my life has been hectic over the past 2 years (I know way too long) and I had a terrible case of writers block, I hope this chapter and the next one was worth the wait.

In this chapter, we have a little bit, of what happens after chapter 8.

I hope you like this chapter, but even if you don't please leave me a review to let me know your thoughts. **MA**

_"Love such a novel concept don't you think? It can give great joy and it can cause great pain. __It is nothing more than a chemical reaction and yet it controls more decisions and actions than any other emotion. It can drive people to kill others or themselves, it can make the most assertive of people a mumbling wreck, it can destroy lives or rebuild them, it can start wars and it can end them and it is said that love is what makes the world go round._

_But it is also __the number one cause of pain in all its forms._

_I ask is love worth all we seem to risk for it? _

_Can love ever truly live up to the ideals we place upon it?_

_My answer to both will always be yes." JA 2007_

* * *

**The End of the Affair or How Albus and Minerva became friends**

**By Morgana-Alex**

**Chapter 9**

The morning found Albus pacing his study, the last thing he wanted was his deputy headmistress to resign. But it was so much more than that; he couldn't live with himself for hurting her and putting her in the situation where she felt she had no choice but to leave. He had no right to hope, no right to feel the way he did, but he knew that if she gave him another chance he would never let her down again.

He had to do something he couldn't let her leave without making sure he had done his best to make her stay. He set off to the great hall for breakfast hoping against hope that the fact he had yet to receive Minerva's letter of resignation meant he was in with a ghost of a chance.

Minerva sat at her desk quill in hand, parchment in front of her, inkpot poised waiting for her to dip her quill in to the dark pool of green. Last night had tried the limit of her patience and she knew that she should be able to write her resignation letter with ease, he had given her little choice and her only hope of regaining control of herself was to leave and to leave now. However, his letter had stirred so much hope in her heart, even if her trust in him had diminished to almost nothing.

Her choices were to stay or to go, and if she stayed did she welcome him back in to her arms or insist that they would only be friends. In short, should she follow the voice of her heart or the voice of her head? She shook said head, they had been here before!

* * *

Albus's face fell when he entered the great hall and his eyes fell upon the empty seat to the right of the headmaster's chair. Minerva was not at breakfast and by the lack of a place setting in front of said chair, he could deduce that she had informed the house elves that she would not be partaking in the morning meal. His plan was not going well. 

The usually stoic witch slammed her quill down on to the desk; she had only written 'Dear Headmaster' and those two words had been on the crisp piece of parchment for over an hour. She needed some fresh air so she decided to take a walk in the grounds to clear her head.

The headmaster had pushed his breakfast –eggs and bacon - around his plate for close to 20 minutes before accepting that he was not in any mood to eat it. With the eyes of most of the staff and a number of students on him, he rose and headed for the grounds he needed some space to think.

* * *

Hogwarts' grounds were a joy to behold at this time of year, the sun shone as the leaves of its many trees rustled in the light early summer breeze. Flowers were in full bloom adding a variety of colours to the already heady mix bombarding the senses.  
Birds sang and flew, calling to their mates, butterfly's circled the flowers and bees hummed while gathering pollen from one blossom and then on to the next. 

Yet none of these things registered with Minerva, she did not notice the world around her as she walked to the kitchen gardens and took a seat on a bench facing east and away from the castle.

Albus watched a butterfly as it crossed his path, its wings beating in time with his heart. His walk from the great hall had taken him around to the east side of the castle, the sun was high in the sky befitting the summer morning. He stopped and bent down to admire the kitchen gardens, wanting to inhale the invigorating scent of the herbs that grew there; as he straightened up he caught a glimpse of emerald green out of place against the bark of an apple tree; time stopped as he dared to hope that the green was that of Minerva's teaching robes.

* * *

Minerva had heard his approach, her animagus senses allowing her to hear what others could not. An almost overwhelming sense of self preservation wanted her to change into said animagus and leave with all possible speed, but that was a cowards way out and besides she wanted to hear what Albus had to say this time, now he had finally told her the truth. 

Albus for his part was pacing trying to figure out just how to approach her; what should he say? What should he do?

"Albus you do realise that I can hear you!" A short and to the point statement, almost toneless in its delivery and it stopped the headmaster dead.

Albus turned to face Minerva unsure of what welcome he would find in her countenance...

**End Chapter

* * *

**

**A/N:** I know after all this time it is cruel of me to leave it there; however, I have written the next chapter of this fic and will post it as soon as I have typed it. Lol **MA**


	10. Chapter 9 Part 2

**Disclaimer:** Please see chapter 1

**A/N:** Many thanks to Mistress Pol, Idonotwishtobenamed, PiER, VoyICJ, ismaco, Stsgirlie for reviewing; it is you guys who keep me writing

This Chapter is Part 2 of Chapter 9

I hope you like this chapter, but even if you don't please leave me a review to let me know your thoughts. **MA**

* * *

**The End of the Affair or How Albus and Minerva became friends**

**By Morgana-Alex**

"_Albus you do realise that I can hear you!" A short and to the point statement, almost toneless in its delivery and it stopped the headmaster dead._

_Albus turned to face Minerva unsure of what welcome he would find in her countenance..._

* * *

**Chapter 9: Part 2**

"I should have Minerva, I should have." His heart heavy and his brow down, he walked closer to the bench on which she sat, but stopped 3 feet short.

"May I join you?" He asked giving her the opportunity to turn him away, to send him packing which is no more than he deserved.

"Yes Albus you may." Lack of sleep shown clearly in her every movement and measured reply.

Albus moved to sit beside her, keeping as much of a respectful distance as the bench would allow. He doubted that just grabbing her and begging her to stay would cut it, so he knew that he would have to make the speech of his life if he was in with even a minute chance of making her stay and in truth he didn't know where to start.

Minerva closed her eyes as he sat down, steeling herself for whatever he might say she could not give in, leaving was her only option; nothing he could say would change that.

The silence was deafening as Albus racked his brains for how to start, how to explain all he felt to the Witch beside him.

"I have been worse than foolish Minerva, I have been worse than a cad to you and yet as I sit here I want to beg you to stay. I know it is too late for you to trust me, too late for you to still care, but I do not want to be without you here at Hogwarts. These walls have been less cold, less lonely since you joined the staff, everyone has been touched by your presence here; they would all be sad to see you go. I'd have to tell them that it was my fault you left, that I was too stupid to know what I had, to foolish to see beyond my own selfish ends. I would not be popular and I'd deserve no less than what they would throw at me. However, it would be nothing compared to how I would berate myself for what I have done to you; I have given you reason to leave your home, reason to leave a job I know you love and I did so without thought to the consequences and that is unforgivable." Albus paused; this was as close to a pouring heart as he would ever get and yet he knew that he had to say much more.

Minerva sat staring towards the castle the mantra 'he cannot change my mind' repeating in her head.

"I am a selfish and silly old man Minerva one too lost in his past to have a future, one too scared of the present to call it a gift, and one too stupid to see what is right in front of him.

"I don't know how to be what you need me to be, I don't know what to say to make you stay, I know I have no right to crave what I thoughtlessly gave up but I do.

"I will not ask you to stay, though from the bottom of my heart know that is what I want. I will accept whatever you decide and I will accept it with good grace, I know that I cannot control your heart or your head and I will not try too."

His words made her smile through her tears, they had struck a cord and she could believe them to be the truth. Finally he was doing what she had asked; he was speaking from his heart instead of trying to control it with his ideas of what he thought was safe and right for him.

"At last Albus, you have admitted that you do not know nor can you control everything. That is something with which I can work…"

**End Chapter**

* * *

**A/N:** Well there you have it another part of this story, not am many words or as telling as I know you wanted but its all i have right now. I will be updating this sporadically (but I guess you know that already), I have a lot on at the moment in real life but I will not abandon this story. **MA**


End file.
